sigh. i feel wierd and scared.getting back a-maths tmr and i am DEAD scared.wait, scared wld be a terrible understatement.i am TERRIFIED.no, more than that.sigh.if i fail, i'm so gonna punish myself severely.as if my family's punishments and words wont be enough.i'm shivering, my teeth are chattering.i sit atop a tower of misery. sigh. this blog is lyk, so dead. no one comes here. it's empty and gathering more dust mites and their shit, also known as dust. it's has become haunted and scary. no one dares to bypass the gates, once majestic, but now, overgrown weeds twine around the beautifully handcrafted iron gates. sigh. cobwebs hang everywhere and floorboards creak under my feet.sigh.sigh.sigh.i feel really wierd.

Friday, September 16, 2005

sigh.had chess club today.ended at 4pm and i was watching the inter-class btwn s3 and g1 and g2 and g3.Even though s3 lost, what struck me most about them was their class spirit. They were so united. i almost yearned to be in s3. I was genuinely jealous.
Look at mine. No one went to support our class when they played. And they also would not have been happy if we had gone to support. They probably would have made fun of us. That is the problem with s2. No one has class spirit.ppl have clique spirit, but when it comes to class no one looks past differences.
It really worries me. I have class sprit and encouragement to give, but no one at the recieving end. Coming frm such a united class as 2s2, it is really annoying to see 3s2 with no spirit.
I really dunno why ppl have hatred in their minds. I mean, one would rather be on gd terms with a person they're gg to be stuck with for 2 whole yrs than waste time and energy trying to find diff ways to hate and make fun of them. It is only common sense and many do not realise it. sigh, i wonder where the common sense gene in evrybody went to.
Ppl nowadays have become so unforgiving and bad, it is really worrying. ppl nowadays have really lost the zest of life. blame the tchrs for giving you, hw, but ppl like carol still manage to remain cheerful. How is it??
god, ppl should really learn a thing or two from the textbk of humanity and morals and civics.sigh.it's really depressing to walk on the streets and see evrybody so hostile and unsmiling. ppl are so rude. it really feels gd to be smiled at by anyone, a small baby, an old man, a motorist, even the beggar lady near my house. it gives a feeling of warmth inside and makes you feel as though your day has been well spent and tt ppl appreciate what you do.
i dont understand humans. we are wierd creatures. sigh.

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

this is stupid. I haven't updated in years. no time.sry. listening to untitled at the moment and singing and crying along. Mum just told lots of things abt her life and some others' which makes me wanna cry. sigh. They are too personal to say here, but they are tragedies and they are tremendously sad.
Watched Sliding Doors during physics cuz tty was absent.yayy. the later the moment of truth the better.sigh. it was wonderful, and gwyneth paltrow looked Gorgeous. sigh. Mtl orals today and saw my marks-i always do. It's either 22/30 or 27/30.sigh
ugh....i gtg.really.bye everybody.

Sunday, June 12, 2005

sigh.i dunno what's wrong with me nowadays.seriously.i mean, i sleep 11 hours a day!! i, who used to sleep for only 7 hrs, am now sleeping 11 HOURS!!! this is really serious. maybe i got drugged or smthg. wtvr. anw......i dun feel high or anything, but i just can't open my eyes after only 7 hours of sleep. maybe this is my body's way of catching up on beauty sleep lost. haha.
And i've been becoming so irritable, i get irritated with myself.yeah.i bet emil wld say that it's typically bhuva.haha.ugh. wat the hell is wrong with me??

Saturday, June 11, 2005

Holidays are supposed to be enjoyable, aren't they? Well, only if you're allowed space to think. I have no independence to even think for myself. Sometimes, they remind me of Peter stockmann.(" So young and you've got opnions already.")
Opinions are supposed to be good for brain growth(Atleast i think so.) but here, opinions are the worst crime imaginable. To have your own opinion is to rebel. To voice your justice is to talk back. You're supposed to follow whatever they say BLINDLY. If you don't, you're a CRIMINAL.
If you say, " prefer this one.", you're as good as a murderer.
Wow. life is just so wonderful. With EVERYBODY breathing down your neck, observing your every move, reprimanding EVERYTHING you say or do. No freedom to move or even BLINK. If you say that you can't be like that, they say, " Your ancestors(unoewatimean) did that and you're supposed to be an exact CLONE." Don't they know that human cloning is banned? (yes, i noe i'm lame.)
Laser scanners have starterd observing. HEADACHE.MIGRAINE. GOT TO GO.

Sunday, May 22, 2005

yayy.i'm back from obs.it was really fun and ther were many benfits as well as drawbacks.

GOOD:
pimples diasappeared.(salt water dehydrated my face)
More muscles.
stomach flatter
thighs more toned.
LEARNT TO KAYAK!!!
BAD:
Skin peeling off nose.
black like a shrivelled prune.
skin very dry
hair back to rough, jute-like texture.
MOZZIE BITES!!
I am so addicted to kayaking after my sea expedition.It's like, i have this real urge to jump into any kayak i see and paddle off.haha.I LOVE my sea expedition.so much better than land at any rate.even though it dries my skin, i love the feeling of cold sea water oozing down my head and neck under the hot sun. bad thing was, i lost my beautiful deep purple towel at sea. during the duration of the expedition, i kept wetting the towel and sqeezing the water down my body.it was a wonderful experience and i think everyone should be allowed it atleast once.i pity the land expedition ppl.(smirks) haha.
I really wanna go for kayaking lessons, but my parents don't seem to allow me.They say it would spoil my complexion and my hair.(Like it's not spoilt already).sigh.
all in all, i think OBS ROCKS!!!
haha. i wanna go for the 9-day course when i'm older.not to long and not too short.Just perfect.

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

lalala.i'm so happy.EXAMS ARE OFFICIALLY OVER!!!!HAHAHA

haha.i lyk this better.ya.haha.
btw...i think i'll make a record now by writing the longest entry ever writtten in a blog by anyone.yayy.haha.let's start with my feelings frm monday.
MONDAY
lit.bio.wat's more to kill a person??memorise lyk mad.in the end, the paper SUCKS, big time.ugh.ugh.ugh.and wat's more,i felt so angry with everybody the whole day.felt lyk killing every person i met.i drank 7 cups of coffee.and walked three bus stops cuz i felt bored waiting for the bus.actually, i wld haf walked all the way if the bus had not come when i just reached the 3rd bus stop.cuz i LOVE walking.i mean, seriously.especially arnd my neighbourhood after 11pm.it's so lonely and quiet.
perfect environment to think and reflect.actually, nowadays, i lyk to be alone and quiet.i'd seriously love to go to the beach at sunset all alone and sit and look at the sea, but THAT BLESSED MOTHER OF MINE WOULDN'T LET ME.how nice.it's a free world and a per son can't even get the privacy to think.ugh.i dunno why, but nowadays i really feel anti-social and angry with everyone.dunno why.maybe it's tt caffeine addiction of mine.haha.
nowadays, i want to be left ALL ALONE.it feels so nice be all alone, to know tt u haf no obligations.to know tt u dun haf to ans anyone.to know tt u dun haf to talk to anyone and listen to watever they say.sigh...it's pure heaven,being alone.
it's so silent and silence is indeed golden.
SIGH.
TUESDAY
sigh.emaths and history.another killer combination.they shld haf a course on how to organise an exam time table,these teachers.do they realise how it kills to practice maths and at the same time, memorise tons of facts abt hitler and stalin and league of nations....yadayadayada.ugh.
mths was ok and i'm gonna fail hist.it's really bad.shit.igtg.bye.